В чем «прелесть» попыток объяснить или предсказать действия какого-нибудь авторитарного правителя: что ни напишут «предсказатели», имеет совершенно равные шансы оказаться как полной чушью, так и иметь непосредственное отношение к реальности.
А еще у некоторых подобных правителей была такая чудная манера, как «сказываться больным» и наблюдать, когда у кого из приближенных не выдержат нервы и проявится на лице некое подобие радости от предвкушения безвременной утраты отца родного. Так, помнится, любил поступать коварный сирийский диктатор Хафез Асад. Несколько раз он «смертельно заболевал», что приводило к нездоровому оживлению его недругов, которых, разумеется, ждала скорая расправа тотчас после счастливого выздоровления правителя.
У свидомых окончательно стерлась грань между виртуальной реальностью и всамделишной. Это мифы, рождающиеся в головах конспирологов, за которые они пытаются цепляться — а напрасно, господа, напрасно! — их остатки даже «реальной реальности», одна фантастичнее другой. Что вмиг превращаются в элементы некоей умозрительной конструкции, которую пытаются прилепить к летописи наших временных лет.
Летопись отчаянно сопротивляется, мифология трещит по швам при первом же испытании ее парой-тройкой вопросов из разряда наивного здравого смысла — мол, зачем этому персонажу совершать то-то и то-то, ведь незачем. Но все увлеченно продолжают «лепить горбатого к стене».
Текущая «политология» окончательно превратилась в сочинение сценариев для фантастических «комиксов про Бэтмена». При том, что эти главные герои комиксо,в неуловимо чем-то похожие на реально живущих людей из плоти и крови, скорее всего, наблюдают за всеми этими потугами из Тайной комнаты, временами посмеиваясь в кулачок над очередной версией происходящего, поданной в красной папочке в порядке доклада перед завтраком или заплывом в бассейне.
Чего только в последние дни не понаписали. Что у национального лидера рак (сразу несколько вариантов — чего именно) или инсульт. Что он «блокирован силовиками». Или, напротив, не блокирован, а отправился на роды в клинику Св. Анны, что в кантоне Тичино. Но тогда он не болен, а здоров как бык. Но в Тичино вроде не заметили сил быстрого развертывания ФСО, да и кто там родился? И от кого? Версии путаются. Вариантов вроде два — либо мальчик, либо девочка.
А может, Его просто всё настолько достало, что с возгласом «Да провались оно всё!» он уехал летать со стерхами, обнимать тигров или гладить косаток?
А что, кстати, с ФСО? Говорят, пошла война не на жизнь, а на смерть: тайные полки службы охраны вступили в неравный бой с превосходящими по численности силами МВД-ФСБ, причем в роли «засадного полка» на стороне первых выступила гвардия самого Рамзана Ахматовича. А убийство Немцова было всего лишь «красной ракетой», сигналом к атаке. Его то ли заказали те, кто хотел «сломать и дожать» (до чего?) Папу, либо «укрофашисты» и их пособники из числа недобитых дудаевцев из Киева по сигналу, разумеется, из Вашингтона. Прознав про все это, не унимаются. Еще говорят, Сам не только заболел, но и принял ислам. Ну, или уехал молиться на Валаам. Или на Афон в подземной вагонетке через второе секретное метро и библиотеку Ивана Грозного.
А тут, шепчут по соцсетям, вроде еще «убивают» бывшего верного телохранителя Золотова, он же нынешний замминистра МВД, метивший на место Колокольцева. Его уже «несколько дней никто не видел», а то ведь он до этого будто каждый божий день прогноз погоды в программе «Время» с Екатериной Андреевой вел. Сие есть косвенное подтверждение заговора и переворота, совершенного якобы «партией крови» против «партии бабла».
Не обошлось и без балета. Нет, не «Лебединое», а «Гамлет». Там тень Настоящего «Игорь Иваныча» явилась в ложу Константину Вадимовичу Ремчукову в образе то ли Будберга, то ли Тимаковой и простонала: «Я пал, пронзенный отравленной стрелой Дворковича, я умираю, верните Мише его 50 «ярдов», снимите их с моей сберкнижки в Сбербанке, и да будет Греф». Кем да будет Греф? Да хоть премьером. А Дмитрий Анатольевич? Его уж нет, он перевел часы на европейское время и в Петербурге выносит мебель из казенной квартиры Зорькина и вносит свою.
И тут в пятницу, 13-го, Сам встречается на виртуальном экране с человеком, похожим на председателя Верховного суда, и говорит вполне членораздельно даже некоторые слова. «Врешь!, — кричит клака с галерки фейсбука и второго яруса балкона твиттера. — Не он это, не председатель!» Настоящий председатель седой был еще днями, а этот крашеный. Да и часы на столе Самого, что в кадре, Кадырову были подарены давеча. Аккурат когда Сам на коллегию ФСБ не явился (боже, когда же такое бывало, чтоб на коллегию к своим-то? Али они уже не свои?!), а человек, похожий на Патрушева, провел Совбез на выезде в Пятигорске. Совбез? В Пятигорске? Синонимичном, как известно, Провалу. На выезде? Почему не Сам?
Тут и Рамзан Ахматович вступил со своей партией Верного Служаки — нет-нет, до бедного Йорика ему еще далеко: «Я подчеркиваю, что всю жизнь обязан Владимиру Путину, предан ему как человеку. И это не зависит от того, при должности он или нет!» Это даже не Чайковский и не Шекспир. Это уже полный Вагнер. Но кто тут бедный страдающий король Людвиг?
И вот эта фраза в инстаграме — «при должности он или нет». Она, как бешеная валькирия, уносит нас тревожными вожделенными ожиданиями с электоральной верой в 88% (где две восьмерки — символ бесконечности, а не рутинная поделка ВЦИОМа) — верой в явление Его народу непосредственно.То ли в Крыму на празднование годовщины Возвращения. То ли в Петербурге, где нашего героя-Бэтмена ждет почему-то непривычный для комиксов главный киргиз. То ли на Васильевском спуске с видом на Большой Москворецкий мост им. Немцова, где фуры уже привезли реквизит и декорации для праздничного концерта в честь того же Возвращения (или там на самом деле спрятались полки андроидов для штурма Кремля?).
Все сжалось во времени и пространстве. Кажется, приближается апофеоз нынешней серии фантастических комиксов: наш Герой появляется одновременно в Крыму, на обеде в Петербурге и на Васильевском спуске вместе с Викой Цыгановой, сжигающей чучело Макаревича.
Конспирологи, конечно, не верят, что такое возможно. У них двоится и троится в глазах от двойников и версий. Они молят Дмитрия Пескова о пощаде: не мучай, Ваше Преосвященство Кардинал виртуальной реальности, растолкуй, мы сошли с ума. Что сие означает? Был ли мальчик? Или хотя бы девочка. Куда несется Русь? Где и кто Папа? Но нет, не дает ответа. Лишь лукаво усмехается в усы. Конкурс на развесистую клюкву продолжается. Этот конкурс и есть самоцель всего.
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